bweils

 

It's about the journey, not the destination...right?
I've been trying not to think about my four years here (at least, in the academic sense) as an endeavor in futility. But when you reach senior year and start to think about how maybe you've been working towards a goal that wasn't meant for you...well, second guessing is unavoiadable.
 
Doc told me that I should pursue what makes me the happiest, the thing that gets me out of bed every day and the thing I can't live without. After reflecting on his advice, I've come to the conclusion that psychology nor English is what makes me happiest, or gets me out of bed in the morning: music does.
 
So what the hell am I supposed to do now?
 
Suddenly the song "What Do You Do With a BA in English?" from Avenue Q describes my life in a completely uncomforting way.
 
Ever have one of those weeks when it seems like nothing's going right except for music?
 

"When this baby hits 88mph you're going to see some serious shit."

I've been thinking a lot lately about the future and how friggin' close it is. Somehow I thought that by this time in my college career I would be so sure of my future plans and all that, but as of now I am less sure than I was before. And now it's time to apply for jobs, grad school, etc. etc. It seems that everyone has an idea of what I should do with my life and I am 100% unsure. Would it be cool to be a librarian? Absolutely. Would it be amazing to teach? I could see it. Would it be awesome if I could just perform music for the rest of my life and get paid for it? You bet.

Last night I went across the river to see one of my friends conduct his former high school band. He did great, per usual, and as I listened to his former band director's introduction of him and watched him conduct those kids I was filled with complete jealousy, the type of jealousy that strikes me everytime I see someone who knows what they want to do with their life and is working to make it happen.

I'm hoping this is some sort of quarter-life crisis that will dissipate before graduation, but I'm not so sure. I have a feeling I'm going to be too distracted by college ending/playing music/writing a huge English paper in ten weeks sort of stuff to figure out the rest of my life.

 

I'm not ready for this...

 Preparing for my last band tour ever.

I'm so excited. :)

 

Finals Week...

Ash Wednesday landing on the Wednesday of finals week (a.k.a the peak of my stress levels/two days before we leave for tour/day before I have to turn in everything) is highly inconveniencing me. All I really want is a cheeseburger.

Just about 28 more hours of academic stress. Then it's all about band tour. God help me.

 

(pre)Posterous?

I've kept some sort of blog since the summer of 2004. I was primarily failthful to Livejournal, but lately all the ads and changes to the search feature have turned me off. I tried my hand at Wordpress, but it seems like every other post at Wordpress is dripping with Profundity and Intelligence, two things I don't really embody when blogging.

I'm not sure if I'll stick to this as a blogging tool; the white space of my extremely sparse theme is intimidating me at the moment. Perhaps I'll come back later and spend some time looking for a more suitable layout. The whole update by emailing thing is an interesting concept, especially since I spend the majority of my time signed into my school email and sometimes write quick journal entries and save them as drafts. I guess you don't know until you try, right?

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To Posterous, Love Metalab